K.Flay – Blood in the Cut - 2017
You broke something, darling, and you know it. You broke that dam in me which held back a boiling wave. You reached into a thing that I thought was dry, and destroyed its borders. What gushed through like floodwater was brown and dirty, incoherent and foaming.
Love is horrible, love is a dog from hell, the man said, drooling and red eyed. It has the power to make you feel ugly in your own sight. It makes you want to break mirrors. It has the power to bring you to your knees time and again. It can paint a face on you, a broad cherry lipped smile, teary eyes, jealous, blinking in the wind.
Van Morrison – You Don’t Pull No Punches but You Don’t Push the River – 1974
What could be sadder than that stock character? What could be more pantomime – already written into comedy thousands of years ago? And having mocked them all the years through, clapped and jeered, here I stand in exactly that paint, on a stage, staring into the lights. It smells like chalk dust. The world snaps at my ankles.
It rained all the end of the year, and the leaves were beaten off their branches. I lived by the river, in the rushes, kneeling with the beasts. But I know one day I will wake up, the year will have turned, I will be standing by the water, it will be running and I will not be thinking about you. The greatest thing in life, says the river, is to reach for something with all your flayed and naked heart and fail. And the most overrated, whispers the willow, is to win it.
Hey. Had read Angel's Share before writing CLAT. Reached here amidst an anxious browsing session (Twitter -> Musk -> Ketamine -> Satyajit Sarna :D), anxiety borne out of a situation-ship. Expected this blog to worsen it, like all anxiety-laden browsing does, with the info overload of rabbit-holes. And I am, usually, not a fan of poetry either. But. Read it in a flow. Soothing like a sedative. Amanda Palmer says, "you’re an artist when you say you are. And you’re a good artist when you make somebody else experience or feel something deep or unexpected." You'd not need validation, I suppose. But this helped me with my anxiety. Transient, yes. But then what isn't?
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